Very good introduction, amazing! I loved it so much because we went from the calmness of your voice and music to this real place that we heard very well. Some advice, I think this could have been a stronger and shorter piece if you did some good editing. Also it would have been good if there was some narration because his story gets confusing and he sometimes back tracks which makes it more confusing. But this was very cool, he did an amazing job in telling his story. I felt as if I was there sitting right next to him and experiencing everything he was talking about, and that?s what good radio does. Last constructive comment, when doing an interview like this you have to make sure the background noise (ambience) is not to loud, or the person being interviewed is not to loud (good ?micing? skills will go a long way!) when it then becomes to hard to understand what?s being said. Overall this piece rocked I liked it allot! The reason I like this piece is allot is because of the meaning and the message it got across, I watched hundreds of reports on this issue but not one of them took me into this part of the problem, the personal part. Great job!
Very funny and (occasionally) great use of sound. The introduction was horrible! It took allot away from the piece. SOME other suggestions, This piece needs allot of editing! And you have to be carefull and remember to speak slowly, clearly and understandably. Also you have to make sure the listener understands who is talking, in the middle some girl comes in and reads a poem, I have no ideal who she is! Also a great piece is relatable, so making this story of a burning building a story about losing something you love or remembering something you love will connect more with listeners and keep there interest till the end. But you did have a great sense oh humor which kept my interest and you made some really good points in your piece. Nice try! Can?t wait to hear the next one, or this one edited again and changed around a little bit!
Nice piece, great use of sounds and descriptions. I promise I will only give a few suggestions because I know how hard it is to do a piece like this. With so much to stay and such little time to say it all you did great. Be careful when using narration over background noise, in one part the background was so strong (loud) it took away from what you were saying. Also it sounds so cheesy when you say in narration ?I asked why? it would be better if you did it in the interview clear enough to cut in the tape, because it engages listeners more, instead of taking us to one scene then another then back again. Now back to the good part, you have a great voice for radio, in it your ethnicity comes through (great!). I think your piece is helping me and probably many others, to understand and like Metal music more, something I always hear and see but never pay attention to fully. Again really good job, you rock!!!
Wow that is allot of information in such a short piece. You have a good voice for radio and did good narration! You?re bringing up so many reasons as to why there are so many kids dropping out of high school. Unfortunately not everyone understands, and your piece helps make people understand a little more. It?s weird in your story you say nobody discouraged you from dropping out, sounding (in your voice) as if you wanted someone to discourage you, you should have dove deeper into that part. Also doing a piece like this is so easy, good writing and some recording. It would have been better if you picked up the microphone and did more recording and more interviewing, instead of telling, let us hear it! Good job on interviewing your mother although she sounded pretty nervous?it?s always hard to get the realness out of people when you have an eight inch microphone in their face. Lastly your piece brings light into an issue, and for once gives your (teen) perspective of ?what?s going on?. Nice JOB
Your intro was unique and really funny. Your story is just one long narration with one instance of another person?s perspective, which I thought was funny ?prostituting papers? LOL! It would have been nice and more work (of course) to interview your mom and ask her ON MIC what she thinks about you selling your term papers, instead of just having you tell us how she feels. Last constructive criticism ill mention (I promise) is the way you read your narration. It doesn?t sound as if I am fully connected with you or hearing the real you. Maybe it?s me, but I suggest the next time you do a story just pretend your speaking to a friend and then you?ll sound more real and much less scripted. But I love your topic and how you approached it and bringing us through your journey, step by step. Also you make a really good point at the end! Great job!!! I WANT TO HEAR MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Jumps right in! It?s real, and very raw! But I have to ask what the point of this piece was? Who was in jail and why? I can go on and on. This audio by itself without an intro or outro is a bit confusing to understand. But I guess you will catch on (sort of). You also have to be very careful when using slang making sure, one you speak slowly and two it?s understandable. You have a good voice for narration, but I think at certain parts of the piece all the sounds and voice echoes took away from the letter and dramatized parts that didn?t really need the extra attention. Every now and then I run into pieces like this, pieces with so much potential yet lacking so much. I wish you luck on your next piece, also if you decide to do a story about this letter person I?m sure it will be excellent!!!! NICE TRY!
Wow this piece is amazing! Your absolutely right, most people are very close-minded when it comes to this issue, but there are pretty strong arguments f or and against immigration. I don?t have a strong stance for or against immigration simply because I listen to stories like yours. This is truly one reason why radio and this web site are so important, it brings issues like this to the table. You?re not just another number that CNN reports on. You?re a person, with a family, with a dream and with a story. We need more stories like this. When I took a trip to Kentucky I stood in a hotel but I had the chance to speak to kids your age and this is exactly what they were talking about, and mostly every graduating senior from high school was moving out. In your story I would have liked to heard some ways people do survive and manage to live in your area, like what jobs do they take, etc. your piece is so short I would have liked a longer piece. But somehow you managed to get so much information across is such a little time without sounding confusing. You did an amazing job and I want to hear more! EXCELLENT JOB!!!!!!
Maybe if Austin was my home town I would like this piece a little more. But then listening to it again the second time makes me relate this piece to my home town BROOKLYN! So I guess in some ironic way we can share this love for our favorite place in the world! Your voice on one constant drag, with very little voice articulation, the more interesting you make things sound the more people would like your piece. Also you mess up on a few words, making it sound more and more like your reading all of this from a paper, good editing will fix that in shape! I still fell like your story is missing something, its like a turkey sandwich without the turkey. Besides all of that and some, you did a good job formatting your piece meaning putting this part first that part next. Your piece however did not put me to sleep for some reason it got me hooked! Great job..cant wait to hear the next!
Your have a good radio voice! Be careful when pronouncing words quickly. Great introduction to your story it brings us in without making us confused. Also you don?t have to give away your tape in your story by saying ?I had to bring my recording equipment to record? its better if we just hear that, making it more interesting and compelling. Great sound recording at the event I would have liked it more if you gave a good description of the place how did it look and feel. And also it would have been good if you gave reasons to why you ?had? to go to the event. Great interviews! They really got my brain thinking about the issue more. Also you said it ?bias?; maybe you should have tried a little harder to get the opposing opinion in..I think that?s enough advice for one piece, Overall your piece was amazing! I honestly liked this one allot.The intro, the middle and the outro was excellent!!! It made something ?boring? into something very interesting. Again your sounds was AMAZING!!!! GREAT JOB! Cant wait to hear your other pieces! ! !
Host intro really cool! But you want to try to keep the word ?me? out, try to make it more general and also try not to give your opinion. Because it also gets confusing. Also I don?t think youth don?t vote because they don?t know they can vote. I like your one person piece, it would have been more interesting if you interviewed youth on why they don?t vote, rather then cite statistics. You know I have learned something while doing stories, it is: the people that the story relates to can give you so much of your arguments, which then makes your story more interesting. But I understand is also makes it harder to edit and finalize. But you focused on a big issue and I think it matters most that your helping getting this out. Did you know more people voted for American Idol then the presidential elections!
This piece give me mixed feelings! I am only going to focus on the Technical aspect and not go to much into the message it conveys (which I can go on and on about!). It sounds as if the guy is talking over the phone, is that the case? Also I think It needs to be made clear whether this was an interview or if he just gave a long speech. Also I think it would have been better (if possible) to interview him in person. Also to have recorded some live tape from the events he mentioned. Because anyone can tell a one sided story in one sitting. Also if you would have asked why do you think those ?Spy agents? came to monitor your event? And was your reaction considered appropriate? You get really good tape if you act as the ?opposition?, (in this case) to give him a sort of need to explain the real mission of his group and what they think in a real toned voice, rather then a pre-packaged narration. But great piece it leaves allot of room for reactions either for or a against what he says! Great job!
You grab me in your first few words...?Momma you had it hard..?! Often times I had to reply the story a few seconds back just to catch what you said, you have to be very careful in saying your words clearly..and also keeping it as real as you did. Your voice and the music in the background gave off a huge sense of sadness, but this story was about giving birth and the heavy burden your mom had to face....which makes me think, did your mom die while having you? (You didn?t mention it in your story.) This is a great mothers day piece! Your one narrative feature is short, but great! Its like a Halmark card and there are parts in your story where it sounds as if your rhyming, cool! Great use of sounds, the curtains pulling and the baby crying, amazing! I want to know and hear more!!!!! And that?s what a good piece does!
Very true and honest story. I think your story is just simply the tip of the ice berg (regarding college problems)! I applaud you for coming out (yourself once an addict) and shed light to this problem. But I sort of felt your story sold the drug to me. It was focused more on the positive consequences it had and less on the negative effects. Besides being addictive like coffee is there any other bad consequences the drug has? Because the drug does not sound that bad, but being addictive, it helps keep people in focus and helps them get there work done. See this is the problem your story doesn?t paint the whole picture. But I am glad you beat the addiction maybe your next story can be on, ways to prevent the abuse of this drug. But on the positive side you had allot of people in your story and you managed to put them all in without making it confusing for the listeners, great job. Can?t wait to hear more about this story, you rock!!!!
His voice is uniquely intensifying, his accounts are amazing! He has so much courage and strength and I think it?s very obvious. And what?s so shocking to me is that after all his wounds he wants to return back and continue to fight in the war. I think its so mysteriously amazing how this once normal kid with two ?special needs? siblings is now himself emotionally challenged. He is an amazing kid and I think what he is doing, talking about it helps allot. He mentions something about his age, but he doesn?t say what his age is, I think it would have been better if you included his age (it helps sets a better picture). Also what is his condition called? Is it a condition? Does this happen to everyone who return from war? All these questions remain unanswered. But I understand sometimes time is often limited in doing a story, but you want to always try to include all the important details as much as you can. Overall AWESOME JOB!!!!
Good story! Good sounds! Good narration! Excellent description! I think there is a ?Crazy Jimmy? in all of our neighborhoods. But you did something different, something ?youth radio? is all about, you stopped and noticed and brung us into a world we commonly over look. I applaud you for that (Yaa!!!). But your own doubt of your mother makes me question how much of Jimmy?s life is true. A journalist never says ?well that?s what my mom said?, me hearing that was a let down. You should have interviewed Jimmy, and found out FOR SURE what happened. Is Jimmy homeless? What ?routine? did Jimmy start? Where does Jimmy sleep? These important question remain unanswered in your piece. And also collecting sound is very important, you have good traffic sound but I could hear that when I walk outside, it would have been nice to hear those sounds you said Jimmy always makes. Lastly, your story was good, it takes allot of courage to face people like that and approach it with respect! YOU ROCK! Keep the stories coming! Can't wait to hear the next one!!!
Your voice is truly amazing it immediately grabbed my attention!!! Your descriptions are fantastic, I closed my eyes and felt with all five sense?s your setting. I felt as if I was going to a secret world, and it was cool!. That way you formatted your piece was creative, you started in a common setting then pulled us through to a secret and unfamiliar place (?some sounds of life?) then brought us back just when we felt lost. Your piece is nice but you have to be careful to not lose your audience in all your descriptions, try to get the main ideals of the setting then quickly and creatively describe, you don?t have to mention everything! Also don?t forget to keep it real, in some parts of your story you used pauses to draw dramatic meaning when it really wasn?t needed. And your voice, you can tell when your being real and when your reading narration! You have to find a way to read you narration as if you were having a conversation with a friend, or someone your open with. Besides that your piece was great, again your voice catches so much attention, use it well!!!
Memorable beginning! Your mother truly cares for you!!! I liked your story allot as the story went on it answered the main questions I had in my mind. Besides a little fixes here and there your piece rocks!!! I don?t feel its my place to tell you what to do with your piece because this piece.... behind the courage in your voice, is truly about making your mother proud! Cool way of doing the narration for your Spanish speaking dad, by explaining what he said after he says it. To save time we usually do it over the voice of the ?foreign language? speaker. Excellent piece, ROCK ON!!!!
Great sounds! That sound of breaking glass in the beginning is truly attention grabbing. But your story is a bit hard to understand. Don?t worry it happens to the best of us! Often times when we do radio stories we assume the listener knows everything! So we leave important details and definitions out, often time leaving the listener (in this case) me confused. The situation you were looking at in your piece, the old guy doing something with a stick (that was another part that was confusing) sounded so amusing, and I smelled the aroma you described steaming out of the boiling pot. COOL DESCRIPTIONS IN AND OUT OF YOUR WHOLE PIECE!!! I think that?s all I will focus on, great job man!
This piece shows just how easy it is to say sorry! Are these kids really sorry??? And is the piece really about forgiveness??? Or was the piece a time for people to write up there apologies? The girl testimony about being a prostitute for drug?s, was unbelievable! I can?t really feel the emotion in some of these kids it just seems like a competition of who did the worst things! But the third girl in this piece said it all ?An apology is nothing more I can give you? (if I got the meaning of what she was trying to say right). Then I thought I felt it in the kid, the wanting of forgiveness, but right after he said sorry for killing his dog and describing the whole violent situation, he said ?I did what I had to do to protect my friend? So I am lost here! Pieces like these make people very angry, angry in the sense of trust and honesty. Are we the listeners getting the truth? In this case are those teens really sorry for all the stupid (it really is) things they did? And sadly I cannot say yes, at least not for all of the teens in this piece. Sorry but when you do something bad; don?t apologize unless you truly mean it! (And if you really where sorry and for some reason everything you wanted to say could not make it in the piece then forgive me!)
Awesome sounds, made your piece flow evenly! But you have to be very careful when using sounds, in your case the loudness of your background sound and the ?coolness? took away from what you were saying (a bit) because that is such a common tune. Also I would have liked it so much better to hear the actual sounds and comments of you during your journey to meet ?THE BATMAN?, not narration, my attention grabbed so quickly when you played sounds of you at the mall! Also your piece is very funny (depending on mass transit...). Also it?s really cool and kind of weird to hear a teenaged boy still trapped in a fantasy world, pretending to use super powers! Very funny GREAT JOB!
I think I am one of those people who need an hour or two on that running machine! I liked your piece allot it kept my attention throughout the whole thing. The sound of you in the beginning of your piece running on the machine and out of breath was amazing, I think that is what got my full attention. You have an amazing voice for story telling, I loved it! Did you ever answer that question in the beginning about why you are the only one on the running machine? Also your story focuses on one tiny part of why people are overweight, but I think its more then just exercising and finding new ways to approach it. In this world people are overweight for a number of reasons so many people are emotional eaters, and also some people just don't know the right foods to eat! You mention the health problems with obesity or being overweight that too, was a very small tiny-inzy-binzy list! I totally understand why you couldn't mention all the health problems related with obesity but a quick word saying that ?some of the health risks with obesity are........?, would make a difference, letting the listeners know there is more. In your story you focused on African Americans, are you African American? When doing a story you have to make sure you paint the full picture an obvious traits like being black can make the story take a different stand point so you have to make sure you MENTION all of the important details in a very creative way. Besides all of that, your story KICKED BUTT!
Your story was very interesting. I had no ideal that this goes on even between people who are so similar. I learned allot of stuff from your story, that I probably wouldn't have learned in school. You see your piece is a reason why youth reporters are so important, they tell stories that would never be heard and just go unchecked, but now because of people like you we know about this know. I know for sure after listening to your story I am going to try my best to make the new immigrants of every race, culture, etc. in my school feel comfortable, because if is was I, I would want the same. In your story you focused so much on one side ( the people who where picked on) it would have been very interesting to hear more from the people who where being racist and discriminating..asking them simple questions like ?why do you pick on these new immigrants?? Also with radio stories you have to try your absolute best to make sure people can understand you, your accent makes your story unique but you have to be careful and not go to fast so we listeners can understand and put our full attention into the story and not your words....you rock man!!!
Awesome piece. I am going to make my older brother who is addicted to Mc Donalds listen to it tonight...maybe it might steer him the right way! Your piece hit some very important reasons why teenage kids are the majority of fast food eaters, one because its cheap and two because it tastes good. And I also realized from your piece that adults probably try to eat better because they can afford the healthier food, like tofu fried in sun flower oil with asparagus. Now for some constructive criticism in the beginning of your story you described this family who constantly eats at fast food restaurants, three times a week. I heard what the kid had to say but what would have been great is what the adult, in this case the mother had to say. Also allot in your piece you mad a mistake that MANY adult journalist make even today, you repeated stuff twice or even three times. Example: In the beginning of your story you say that ?Steven does not think about the affect they (fast food) have on him? then after that you ask Steven ?so do you consider the health value when you order milk shake? and he replies ?not really?. As you can hear you basically said it twice but in different ways, it happens again in your story towards the middle to the end in your interview with Edmin Chatman and John where they repeat the same thing. The problem is that in a story like this many people are going to have the same opinions so you have to find a way to not repeat the same ideals but still get the major ideal (I know its hard work, trust me!). Lastly in your story you say the main reason why Jennifer Heartman (the nutritionist) stopped eating fast food was because she became aware of the health consequences, well I think it would have been excellent if you would have named some of the health problems fast food causes....Finally (this time im serious) Please Excuse the spelling of the names. And also Great Job on your story, you ROCK!
Great piece! Very touching. This is a very simple piece, that yet had so much emotion, the depth of your voice and the constant mood you kept with it gave this a one mood piece. Meaning my emotions when listening to your piece didn?t change I felt this one mood of a person asking for forgiveness...for some reason I pictured you on your knees with your hands together looking at the sky. Your descriptions in the beginning is amazing I mentally saw and felt it all, the setting, the room, the environment and the feelings. What would have been great is if you mentioned how old you where, because it gives listeners a understanding of your mind set and understanding of the situation. Also you said ?we would visit Tia every week?, it would be helpful if you said who, because going to see your grandmother with your friends sets a different picture then going to see your grandma with your sisters, brothers, or mother and father. Little stuff like that is important because telling a radio story is all about making a mental understanding of the situation, either in your description or in your sounds, its imperative! The last thing that would have also been helpful is if you gave Tia?s age and reason of death. Lastly I really liked your piece, a great job!
This piece is great! It gives you the Who, What and Why of "Meth". It took the complicated topic of "Meth" and (simply) broke it down. I really see this piece appealing to teens and giving them the needed information of "Meth", rather then trying to hide it, praying that we just wont fall victim to it. I can really see this piece being used in High School, health education classes. It brings public awareness to a very foggy subject and focuses on the rare, a survivor of the drug. Finally the narrator voice and observations were amazing, demanding and attention grabbing!
Comments by Rocky Tayeh
Comment for "21-year-old Katrina survivor signing up for U.S. Army"
Rocky Tayeh
Posted on July 25, 2006 at 12:20 AM | Permalink
Review of 21-year-old Katrina survivor signing up for U.S. Army
Very good introduction, amazing! I loved it so much because we went from the calmness of your voice and music to this real place that we heard very well. Some advice, I think this could have been a stronger and shorter piece if you did some good editing. Also it would have been good if there was some narration because his story gets confusing and he sometimes back tracks which makes it more confusing. But this was very cool, he did an amazing job in telling his story. I felt as if I was there sitting right next to him and experiencing everything he was talking about, and that?s what good radio does. Last constructive comment, when doing an interview like this you have to make sure the background noise (ambience) is not to loud, or the person being interviewed is not to loud (good ?micing? skills will go a long way!) when it then becomes to hard to understand what?s being said. Overall this piece rocked I liked it allot! The reason I like this piece is allot is because of the meaning and the message it got across, I watched hundreds of reports on this issue but not one of them took me into this part of the problem, the personal part. Great job!
Comment for "After The Fire: Memories of KOOP Building"
Rocky Tayeh
Posted on July 22, 2006 at 12:32 AM | Permalink
Review of After The Fire: Memories of KOOP Building
Very funny and (occasionally) great use of sound. The introduction was horrible! It took allot away from the piece. SOME other suggestions, This piece needs allot of editing! And you have to be carefull and remember to speak slowly, clearly and understandably. Also you have to make sure the listener understands who is talking, in the middle some girl comes in and reads a poem, I have no ideal who she is! Also a great piece is relatable, so making this story of a burning building a story about losing something you love or remembering something you love will connect more with listeners and keep there interest till the end. But you did have a great sense oh humor which kept my interest and you made some really good points in your piece. Nice try! Can?t wait to hear the next one, or this one edited again and changed around a little bit!
Comment for "Friday Night At Epiphany's"
Rocky Tayeh
Posted on July 18, 2006 at 11:55 AM | Permalink
Review of Friday Night At Epiphany's
Nice piece, great use of sounds and descriptions. I promise I will only give a few suggestions because I know how hard it is to do a piece like this. With so much to stay and such little time to say it all you did great. Be careful when using narration over background noise, in one part the background was so strong (loud) it took away from what you were saying. Also it sounds so cheesy when you say in narration ?I asked why? it would be better if you did it in the interview clear enough to cut in the tape, because it engages listeners more, instead of taking us to one scene then another then back again. Now back to the good part, you have a great voice for radio, in it your ethnicity comes through (great!). I think your piece is helping me and probably many others, to understand and like Metal music more, something I always hear and see but never pay attention to fully. Again really good job, you rock!!!
Comment for "Hopeless in High School"
Rocky Tayeh
Posted on July 18, 2006 at 01:40 AM | Permalink
Review of Hopeless in High School
Wow that is allot of information in such a short piece. You have a good voice for radio and did good narration! You?re bringing up so many reasons as to why there are so many kids dropping out of high school. Unfortunately not everyone understands, and your piece helps make people understand a little more. It?s weird in your story you say nobody discouraged you from dropping out, sounding (in your voice) as if you wanted someone to discourage you, you should have dove deeper into that part. Also doing a piece like this is so easy, good writing and some recording. It would have been better if you picked up the microphone and did more recording and more interviewing, instead of telling, let us hear it! Good job on interviewing your mother although she sounded pretty nervous?it?s always hard to get the realness out of people when you have an eight inch microphone in their face. Lastly your piece brings light into an issue, and for once gives your (teen) perspective of ?what?s going on?. Nice JOB
Comment for "Selling A Papers"
Rocky Tayeh
Posted on July 02, 2006 at 10:58 PM | Permalink
Review of Selling A Papers
Your intro was unique and really funny. Your story is just one long narration with one instance of another person?s perspective, which I thought was funny ?prostituting papers? LOL! It would have been nice and more work (of course) to interview your mom and ask her ON MIC what she thinks about you selling your term papers, instead of just having you tell us how she feels. Last constructive criticism ill mention (I promise) is the way you read your narration. It doesn?t sound as if I am fully connected with you or hearing the real you. Maybe it?s me, but I suggest the next time you do a story just pretend your speaking to a friend and then you?ll sound more real and much less scripted. But I love your topic and how you approached it and bringing us through your journey, step by step. Also you make a really good point at the end! Great job!!! I WANT TO HEAR MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Comment for "Locked Up Letters" (deleted)
Rocky Tayeh
Posted on July 01, 2006 at 01:50 PM
Review of Locked Up Letters (deleted)
Jumps right in! It?s real, and very raw! But I have to ask what the point of this piece was? Who was in jail and why? I can go on and on. This audio by itself without an intro or outro is a bit confusing to understand. But I guess you will catch on (sort of). You also have to be very careful when using slang making sure, one you speak slowly and two it?s understandable. You have a good voice for narration, but I think at certain parts of the piece all the sounds and voice echoes took away from the letter and dramatized parts that didn?t really need the extra attention. Every now and then I run into pieces like this, pieces with so much potential yet lacking so much. I wish you luck on your next piece, also if you decide to do a story about this letter person I?m sure it will be excellent!!!! NICE TRY!
Comment for "Leaving the Mountains"
Rocky Tayeh
Posted on June 29, 2006 at 04:54 PM | Permalink
Review of Leaving the Mountains
Wow this piece is amazing! Your absolutely right, most people are very close-minded when it comes to this issue, but there are pretty strong arguments f or and against immigration. I don?t have a strong stance for or against immigration simply because I listen to stories like yours. This is truly one reason why radio and this web site are so important, it brings issues like this to the table. You?re not just another number that CNN reports on. You?re a person, with a family, with a dream and with a story. We need more stories like this. When I took a trip to Kentucky I stood in a hotel but I had the chance to speak to kids your age and this is exactly what they were talking about, and mostly every graduating senior from high school was moving out. In your story I would have liked to heard some ways people do survive and manage to live in your area, like what jobs do they take, etc. your piece is so short I would have liked a longer piece. But somehow you managed to get so much information across is such a little time without sounding confusing. You did an amazing job and I want to hear more! EXCELLENT JOB!!!!!!
Comment for "Austin Life"
Rocky Tayeh
Posted on June 24, 2006 at 01:07 PM | Permalink
Review of Austin Life
Maybe if Austin was my home town I would like this piece a little more. But then listening to it again the second time makes me relate this piece to my home town BROOKLYN! So I guess in some ironic way we can share this love for our favorite place in the world! Your voice on one constant drag, with very little voice articulation, the more interesting you make things sound the more people would like your piece. Also you mess up on a few words, making it sound more and more like your reading all of this from a paper, good editing will fix that in shape! I still fell like your story is missing something, its like a turkey sandwich without the turkey. Besides all of that and some, you did a good job formatting your piece meaning putting this part first that part next. Your piece however did not put me to sleep for some reason it got me hooked! Great job..cant wait to hear the next!
Comment for "Gay Marriage In Texas: Talking About Proposition 2"
Rocky Tayeh
Posted on June 24, 2006 at 12:45 PM | Permalink
Review of Gay Marriage In Texas: Talking About Proposition 2
Your have a good radio voice! Be careful when pronouncing words quickly. Great introduction to your story it brings us in without making us confused. Also you don?t have to give away your tape in your story by saying ?I had to bring my recording equipment to record? its better if we just hear that, making it more interesting and compelling. Great sound recording at the event I would have liked it more if you gave a good description of the place how did it look and feel. And also it would have been good if you gave reasons to why you ?had? to go to the event. Great interviews! They really got my brain thinking about the issue more. Also you said it ?bias?; maybe you should have tried a little harder to get the opposing opinion in..I think that?s enough advice for one piece, Overall your piece was amazing! I honestly liked this one allot.The intro, the middle and the outro was excellent!!! It made something ?boring? into something very interesting. Again your sounds was AMAZING!!!! GREAT JOB! Cant wait to hear your other pieces! ! !
Comment for "Youth Voting"
Rocky Tayeh
Posted on May 26, 2006 at 07:11 AM | Permalink
Review of Youth Voting
Host intro really cool! But you want to try to keep the word ?me? out, try to make it more general and also try not to give your opinion. Because it also gets confusing. Also I don?t think youth don?t vote because they don?t know they can vote. I like your one person piece, it would have been more interesting if you interviewed youth on why they don?t vote, rather then cite statistics. You know I have learned something while doing stories, it is: the people that the story relates to can give you so much of your arguments, which then makes your story more interesting. But I understand is also makes it harder to edit and finalize. But you focused on a big issue and I think it matters most that your helping getting this out. Did you know more people voted for American Idol then the presidential elections!
Comment for "Quakers get spied on" (deleted)
Rocky Tayeh
Posted on May 23, 2006 at 10:35 AM
Review of Quakers get spied on (deleted)
This piece give me mixed feelings! I am only going to focus on the Technical aspect and not go to much into the message it conveys (which I can go on and on about!). It sounds as if the guy is talking over the phone, is that the case? Also I think It needs to be made clear whether this was an interview or if he just gave a long speech. Also I think it would have been better (if possible) to interview him in person. Also to have recorded some live tape from the events he mentioned. Because anyone can tell a one sided story in one sitting. Also if you would have asked why do you think those ?Spy agents? came to monitor your event? And was your reaction considered appropriate? You get really good tape if you act as the ?opposition?, (in this case) to give him a sort of need to explain the real mission of his group and what they think in a real toned voice, rather then a pre-packaged narration. But great piece it leaves allot of room for reactions either for or a against what he says! Great job!
Comment for "Here I Am, Saying Thanks To My Mom"
Rocky Tayeh
Posted on May 23, 2006 at 10:10 AM | Permalink
Review of Here I Am, Saying Thanks To My Mom
You grab me in your first few words...?Momma you had it hard..?! Often times I had to reply the story a few seconds back just to catch what you said, you have to be very careful in saying your words clearly..and also keeping it as real as you did. Your voice and the music in the background gave off a huge sense of sadness, but this story was about giving birth and the heavy burden your mom had to face....which makes me think, did your mom die while having you? (You didn?t mention it in your story.) This is a great mothers day piece! Your one narrative feature is short, but great! Its like a Halmark card and there are parts in your story where it sounds as if your rhyming, cool! Great use of sounds, the curtains pulling and the baby crying, amazing! I want to know and hear more!!!!! And that?s what a good piece does!
Comment for "Attention Deficit Drugs Black Market on Campus"
Rocky Tayeh
Posted on March 05, 2006 at 06:40 PM | Permalink
Review of Attention Deficit Drugs Black Market on Campus
Very true and honest story. I think your story is just simply the tip of the ice berg (regarding college problems)! I applaud you for coming out (yourself once an addict) and shed light to this problem. But I sort of felt your story sold the drug to me. It was focused more on the positive consequences it had and less on the negative effects. Besides being addictive like coffee is there any other bad consequences the drug has? Because the drug does not sound that bad, but being addictive, it helps keep people in focus and helps them get there work done. See this is the problem your story doesn?t paint the whole picture. But I am glad you beat the addiction maybe your next story can be on, ways to prevent the abuse of this drug. But on the positive side you had allot of people in your story and you managed to put them all in without making it confusing for the listeners, great job. Can?t wait to hear more about this story, you rock!!!!
Comment for "Reflections on Return: Wounded Iraq War Veteran"
Rocky Tayeh
Posted on March 05, 2006 at 03:59 PM | Permalink
Review of Reflections on Return: Wounded Iraq War Veteran
His voice is uniquely intensifying, his accounts are amazing! He has so much courage and strength and I think it?s very obvious. And what?s so shocking to me is that after all his wounds he wants to return back and continue to fight in the war. I think its so mysteriously amazing how this once normal kid with two ?special needs? siblings is now himself emotionally challenged. He is an amazing kid and I think what he is doing, talking about it helps allot. He mentions something about his age, but he doesn?t say what his age is, I think it would have been better if you included his age (it helps sets a better picture). Also what is his condition called? Is it a condition? Does this happen to everyone who return from war? All these questions remain unanswered. But I understand sometimes time is often limited in doing a story, but you want to always try to include all the important details as much as you can. Overall AWESOME JOB!!!!
Comment for "Southwest Side Stories: Crazy Jimmy"
Rocky Tayeh
Posted on February 08, 2006 at 11:15 AM | Permalink
Review of Southwest Side Stories: Crazy Jimmy
Good story! Good sounds! Good narration! Excellent description! I think there is a ?Crazy Jimmy? in all of our neighborhoods. But you did something different, something ?youth radio? is all about, you stopped and noticed and brung us into a world we commonly over look. I applaud you for that (Yaa!!!). But your own doubt of your mother makes me question how much of Jimmy?s life is true. A journalist never says ?well that?s what my mom said?, me hearing that was a let down. You should have interviewed Jimmy, and found out FOR SURE what happened. Is Jimmy homeless? What ?routine? did Jimmy start? Where does Jimmy sleep? These important question remain unanswered in your piece. And also collecting sound is very important, you have good traffic sound but I could hear that when I walk outside, it would have been nice to hear those sounds you said Jimmy always makes. Lastly, your story was good, it takes allot of courage to face people like that and approach it with respect! YOU ROCK! Keep the stories coming! Can't wait to hear the next one!!!
Comment for "Southwest Side Stories: The Jumps"
Rocky Tayeh
Posted on February 06, 2006 at 03:42 PM | Permalink
Review of Southwest Side Stories: The Jumps
Your voice is truly amazing it immediately grabbed my attention!!! Your descriptions are fantastic, I closed my eyes and felt with all five sense?s your setting. I felt as if I was going to a secret world, and it was cool!. That way you formatted your piece was creative, you started in a common setting then pulled us through to a secret and unfamiliar place (?some sounds of life?) then brought us back just when we felt lost. Your piece is nice but you have to be careful to not lose your audience in all your descriptions, try to get the main ideals of the setting then quickly and creatively describe, you don?t have to mention everything! Also don?t forget to keep it real, in some parts of your story you used pauses to draw dramatic meaning when it really wasn?t needed. And your voice, you can tell when your being real and when your reading narration! You have to find a way to read you narration as if you were having a conversation with a friend, or someone your open with. Besides that your piece was great, again your voice catches so much attention, use it well!!!
Comment for "Why I Want to Vote"
Rocky Tayeh
Posted on January 31, 2006 at 12:54 PM | Permalink
Review of Why I Want to Vote
Memorable beginning! Your mother truly cares for you!!! I liked your story allot as the story went on it answered the main questions I had in my mind. Besides a little fixes here and there your piece rocks!!! I don?t feel its my place to tell you what to do with your piece because this piece.... behind the courage in your voice, is truly about making your mother proud! Cool way of doing the narration for your Spanish speaking dad, by explaining what he said after he says it. To save time we usually do it over the voice of the ?foreign language? speaker. Excellent piece, ROCK ON!!!!
Comment for "Southwest Side Stories: Midnight in the Garden of Villanueva"
Rocky Tayeh
Posted on January 31, 2006 at 11:43 AM | Permalink
Review of Southwest Side Stories: Midnight in the Garden of Villanueva
Great sounds! That sound of breaking glass in the beginning is truly attention grabbing. But your story is a bit hard to understand. Don?t worry it happens to the best of us! Often times when we do radio stories we assume the listener knows everything! So we leave important details and definitions out, often time leaving the listener (in this case) me confused. The situation you were looking at in your piece, the old guy doing something with a stick (that was another part that was confusing) sounded so amusing, and I smelled the aroma you described steaming out of the boiling pot. COOL DESCRIPTIONS IN AND OUT OF YOUR WHOLE PIECE!!! I think that?s all I will focus on, great job man!
Comment for "Apology Line Homage"
Rocky Tayeh
Posted on January 30, 2006 at 12:32 PM | Permalink
Review of Apology Line Homage
This piece shows just how easy it is to say sorry! Are these kids really sorry??? And is the piece really about forgiveness??? Or was the piece a time for people to write up there apologies? The girl testimony about being a prostitute for drug?s, was unbelievable! I can?t really feel the emotion in some of these kids it just seems like a competition of who did the worst things! But the third girl in this piece said it all ?An apology is nothing more I can give you? (if I got the meaning of what she was trying to say right). Then I thought I felt it in the kid, the wanting of forgiveness, but right after he said sorry for killing his dog and describing the whole violent situation, he said ?I did what I had to do to protect my friend? So I am lost here! Pieces like these make people very angry, angry in the sense of trust and honesty. Are we the listeners getting the truth? In this case are those teens really sorry for all the stupid (it really is) things they did? And sadly I cannot say yes, at least not for all of the teens in this piece. Sorry but when you do something bad; don?t apologize unless you truly mean it! (And if you really where sorry and for some reason everything you wanted to say could not make it in the piece then forgive me!)
Comment for "Meeting Batman: A Tragedy"
Rocky Tayeh
Posted on January 30, 2006 at 11:51 AM | Permalink
Review of Meeting Batman: A Tragedy
Awesome sounds, made your piece flow evenly! But you have to be very careful when using sounds, in your case the loudness of your background sound and the ?coolness? took away from what you were saying (a bit) because that is such a common tune. Also I would have liked it so much better to hear the actual sounds and comments of you during your journey to meet ?THE BATMAN?, not narration, my attention grabbed so quickly when you played sounds of you at the mall! Also your piece is very funny (depending on mass transit...). Also it?s really cool and kind of weird to hear a teenaged boy still trapped in a fantasy world, pretending to use super powers! Very funny GREAT JOB!
Comment for "Obesity"
Rocky Tayeh
Posted on December 30, 2005 at 12:23 PM | Permalink
Review of Obesity
I think I am one of those people who need an hour or two on that running machine! I liked your piece allot it kept my attention throughout the whole thing. The sound of you in the beginning of your piece running on the machine and out of breath was amazing, I think that is what got my full attention. You have an amazing voice for story telling, I loved it! Did you ever answer that question in the beginning about why you are the only one on the running machine? Also your story focuses on one tiny part of why people are overweight, but I think its more then just exercising and finding new ways to approach it. In this world people are overweight for a number of reasons so many people are emotional eaters, and also some people just don't know the right foods to eat! You mention the health problems with obesity or being overweight that too, was a very small tiny-inzy-binzy list! I totally understand why you couldn't mention all the health problems related with obesity but a quick word saying that ?some of the health risks with obesity are........?, would make a difference, letting the listeners know there is more. In your story you focused on African Americans, are you African American? When doing a story you have to make sure you paint the full picture an obvious traits like being black can make the story take a different stand point so you have to make sure you MENTION all of the important details in a very creative way. Besides all of that, your story KICKED BUTT!
Comment for "Jincho"
Rocky Tayeh
Posted on December 30, 2005 at 12:17 PM | Permalink
Review of Jincho
Your story was very interesting. I had no ideal that this goes on even between people who are so similar. I learned allot of stuff from your story, that I probably wouldn't have learned in school. You see your piece is a reason why youth reporters are so important, they tell stories that would never be heard and just go unchecked, but now because of people like you we know about this know. I know for sure after listening to your story I am going to try my best to make the new immigrants of every race, culture, etc. in my school feel comfortable, because if is was I, I would want the same. In your story you focused so much on one side ( the people who where picked on) it would have been very interesting to hear more from the people who where being racist and discriminating..asking them simple questions like ?why do you pick on these new immigrants?? Also with radio stories you have to try your absolute best to make sure people can understand you, your accent makes your story unique but you have to be careful and not go to fast so we listeners can understand and put our full attention into the story and not your words....you rock man!!!
Comment for "Fast Foods"
Rocky Tayeh
Posted on December 29, 2005 at 06:29 PM | Permalink
Review of Fast Foods
Awesome piece. I am going to make my older brother who is addicted to Mc Donalds listen to it tonight...maybe it might steer him the right way! Your piece hit some very important reasons why teenage kids are the majority of fast food eaters, one because its cheap and two because it tastes good. And I also realized from your piece that adults probably try to eat better because they can afford the healthier food, like tofu fried in sun flower oil with asparagus. Now for some constructive criticism in the beginning of your story you described this family who constantly eats at fast food restaurants, three times a week. I heard what the kid had to say but what would have been great is what the adult, in this case the mother had to say. Also allot in your piece you mad a mistake that MANY adult journalist make even today, you repeated stuff twice or even three times. Example: In the beginning of your story you say that ?Steven does not think about the affect they (fast food) have on him? then after that you ask Steven ?so do you consider the health value when you order milk shake? and he replies ?not really?. As you can hear you basically said it twice but in different ways, it happens again in your story towards the middle to the end in your interview with Edmin Chatman and John where they repeat the same thing. The problem is that in a story like this many people are going to have the same opinions so you have to find a way to not repeat the same ideals but still get the major ideal (I know its hard work, trust me!). Lastly in your story you say the main reason why Jennifer Heartman (the nutritionist) stopped eating fast food was because she became aware of the health consequences, well I think it would have been excellent if you would have named some of the health problems fast food causes....Finally (this time im serious) Please Excuse the spelling of the names. And also Great Job on your story, you ROCK!
Comment for "A Gift for Tia, Long Overdue"
Rocky Tayeh
Posted on December 29, 2005 at 02:01 PM | Permalink
Review of A Gift for Tia, Long Overdue
Great piece! Very touching. This is a very simple piece, that yet had so much emotion, the depth of your voice and the constant mood you kept with it gave this a one mood piece. Meaning my emotions when listening to your piece didn?t change I felt this one mood of a person asking for forgiveness...for some reason I pictured you on your knees with your hands together looking at the sky. Your descriptions in the beginning is amazing I mentally saw and felt it all, the setting, the room, the environment and the feelings. What would have been great is if you mentioned how old you where, because it gives listeners a understanding of your mind set and understanding of the situation. Also you said ?we would visit Tia every week?, it would be helpful if you said who, because going to see your grandmother with your friends sets a different picture then going to see your grandma with your sisters, brothers, or mother and father. Little stuff like that is important because telling a radio story is all about making a mental understanding of the situation, either in your description or in your sounds, its imperative! The last thing that would have also been helpful is if you gave Tia?s age and reason of death. Lastly I really liked your piece, a great job!
Comment for "Life After Meth"
Rocky Tayeh
Posted on December 17, 2005 at 08:18 PM | Permalink
Review of Life After Meth
This piece is great! It gives you the Who, What and Why of "Meth". It took the complicated topic of "Meth" and (simply) broke it down. I really see this piece appealing to teens and giving them the needed information of "Meth", rather then trying to hide it, praying that we just wont fall victim to it. I can really see this piece being used in High School, health education classes. It brings public awareness to a very foggy subject and focuses on the rare, a survivor of the drug. Finally the narrator voice and observations were amazing, demanding and attention grabbing!