Transcript for the Piece Audio version of Seasonal Affective Disorder

There's a certain scene in a movie where Jack Nicholson has just been thrown out of his psychiatrist's office. Before he leaves he looks around the lobby and says to no one in particular, "What if this is as good as it gets?"

The first time I saw that scene I smiled because I had an inkling of how the movie might turn out. But every winter, as the days get shorter and the temperature gets colder I remember that question. I must admit that I stopped smiling long ago.

I've struggled with depression most of my life. It wasn't until about 12 years ago that it was diagnosed and I was able to take measures to deal with it. Specifically psychotherapy, support groups and little wonders like Prozac. But depression seems to have nestled into my DNA like an unwelcome tenant who continues to ignore the eviction notice. Seasonal Affective Disorder, or SAD as a lame pun intended acronym, tends to descend on my worldly outlook like ten huge wet blankets. Combine the lack of sunlight, the cold along with Jack Nicholson's voice reverberating in my mind and you have a recipe for a very unpleasant existence.

The condition and the term were coined by Maryland physician Dr. Norman Rosenthal in his book, "Winter Blues." Along with the standard treatments for depression he prescribed a regimen of light exposure called phototherapy. I checked the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders to see if they had any references to SAD. While I didn't find any with that acronym it did acknowledge that seasonal changes can have a profound effect on triggering depression.

My doctor advised me to get some full spectrum lighting for my apartment. Whether it's helping or not the lighting is much easier on my eyes. Meditation and Hatha Yoga have become priorities as I now have a regular practice of both. Add to this some targeted serotonin reuptake inhibitors and I think I'll make it to February. Then I intend to take two weeks to visit the South Pacific. If I'm lying on the beach and I dare to think, "What if this is as good as it gets?" I'm going to take the risk to answer, "Not by a longshot..."