My neighbour and I will occasionally meet as we collect our mail in the communal mailbox. Lizzie has two cats that she likes to tell me about in the kind of stream-of-consciousness narrative favoured by James Joyce and my Dad?s sister, Auntie Kitty. Last week, it was her twelve-year old Tabby cat who was giving problems. Bronte had become sullen and withdrawn; she had taken suddenly and inexplicably, to urinating in the laundry basket. A great believer in therapy, Lizzie did what any sensible New Yorker in her position would do: she called a cat therapist. For a mere $500, a diagnosis was returned: Bronte was ?acting out? because of Lizzie?s preoccupation with her new boyfriend. But a leaky bladder was only part of the problem. The cat had ?unresolved abandonment issues,? predating even, her first custody battle, which could help explain the erratic mood swings and acid reflux disease. Bronte was given a relaxing tape of ocean sounds (so that?s who?s buying all those Enya CDs!), and Lizzie urged to practice daily affirmations to bolster the cat?s shaky self-esteem.

My neighbour and I will occasionally meet as we collect our mail in the communal mailbox. Lizzie has two cats that she likes to tell me about in the kind of stream-of-consciousness narrative favoured by James Joyce and my Dad?s sister, Auntie Kitty. Last week, it was her twelve-year old Tabby cat who was giving problems. Bronte had become sullen and withdrawn; she had taken suddenly and inexplicably, to urinating in the laundry basket. A great believer in therapy, Lizzie did what any sensible New Yorker in her position would do: she called a cat therapist. For a mere $500, a diagnosis was returned: Bronte was ?acting out? because of Lizzie?s preoccupation with her new boyfriend. But a leaky bladder was only part of the problem. The cat had ?unresolved abandonment issues,? predating even, her first custody battle, which could help explain the erratic mood swings and acid reflux disease. Bronte was given a relaxing tape of ocean sounds (so that?s who?s buying all those Enya CDs!), and Lizzie urged to practice daily affirmations to bolster the cat?s shaky self-esteem.