Rundown: Episode 45, “The Things I Never Learned In School”
Real world tips on being a professional actor. The difference between acting school and the real world is the difference between reading and reading between the lines.
Originally Posted Saturday, March 5th, 2011

Episode Music: “School Is Out” by Ry Cooder/Album: “Show Time”/Year: 1976/Label: Warner Bros./Song Length: 2:41

00:00:00 - “School Is Out” by Ry Cooder
00:00:36 – Intro by David Chen, introduces Stephen by referencing his role in the film “Hard Breakers”
00:01:31 – David references the film “True Lies”
00:02:04 – David references the film “Stephen Tobolowsky’s Birthday Party”
00:04:11 – Stephen mentions, “…based on sex, drugs and rock n’ roll…”
00:09:38 – Story 1 in-cue: “For the past five years I’ve been teaching improv…”
00:12:14 – Stephen references the television series “Californication”.
00:14:24 – Stephen mentions, “…that included giving us the finger and drinking a beer.”
00:15:04 – Stephen mentions, “…I had to do a sex scene or actually to be more precise, it was a simulated sex scene.”
00:15:24 – Stephen mentions, “…is it difficult to do sex scenes with the whole crew watching?”
00:15:39 – Stephen mentions, “…when I had to do a simulated sex scene in a bathtub in an episode of ‘Deadwood’…”
00:15:36 – Stephen references the television series “Deadwood”
00:15:47 – Stephen mentions, “…to make it appear like I was naked.”
00:16:07 – Stephen references the film “Bossa Nova”
00:17:55 – Stephen references the television series “Heroes”
00:17:58 – Stephen mentions, “…I have the top of my head cut off with a sort of laser beam…”
00:18:05 – Stephen mentions, “…my facial expression remind me a little bit of someone having sex.”
00:18:32 – Stephen mentions, “…the only real difference between that and having sex…”
00:19:43 – Stephen mentions, “…try this technique at home next time you need to simulate sex.”
00:21:23 – Stephen mentions, “…as ‘Buttcrack Plumber’.”
00:22:07 – Stephen mentions, “…was ‘Masochistic Gay Man’.”
00:22:22 – Stephen mentions, “…that you’re one day going to play Buttcrack Plumber. Buttcrack Plumber opposite a multiple Academy Award winner.”
00:23:02 – Stephen mentions, “…he envisioned the butt crack, it made him laugh…”
00:23:15 – Stephen mentions, “So, you’re our butt crack plumber.”
00:26:29 – Stephen mentions, “…after a session of what I suppose was torrid, simulated sex.”
00:27:05 – Story 1 out-cue: “Truthfully over the years I’ve learned that sex is fine but there’s nothing more romantic than a shared snack. I’m sure Ibsen would have agreed.” Music fades up, “School Is Out” by Ry Cooder
00:27:37 – Story 2 in-cue, music fades down: “I now know that doing classroom scenes…”
00:31:43 – Stephen references the film “Beethoven’s Big Break”
00:34:44 – Stephen references the film “Groundhog Day”
00:42:25 – Story 2 out-cue: “The problem is, no one ever knows where the flame is.” Music fades up, “School Is Out” by Ry Cooder
00:42:55 – Outro by David Chen: “That was ‘Things I Never Learned In School’…”
00:47:21 – Stephen references the film “Teenage Wasteland”
00:48:12 – Stephen references the film “Thelma and Louise”
00:50:20 – Music fades up, “School Is Out” by Ry Cooder
00:50:59 – End.