Transcript for the Piece Audio version of Can Drinking Dog-Juice Really Help Your Heart?

Can drinking dog-juice really help your heart?

I’m Dr Pat Raymond of Your Health Choice.

Every now and then, I read of research so cruel and evil that I must respond.

A recent study looked at the effects of taking small dogs – Pomeranians – and grinding them down into liquid for health benefits. Could anything be more cruel than this?

45 patients were split into the lucky placebo group and small-dog-margarita group. We should have been studying the cruel hearts of the researchers, but the hearts of the people who drank this immoral elixir showed less stress-induced heart muscle damage over three months.

At this point, we should all march on Washington to demand that these researchers cease their cruel blendering of cuddly Pomegranate doggies.

It’s a what?

A fruit native to Northern India? Not a fluffy toy-dog breed?

Oh.

Well… never mind.