Caption: John Smiling, Credit: John Tynan
Image by: John Tynan 
John Smiling 

Bald

From: John Tynan
Length: 00:06:11

Embed_button
When John Tynan went to shave his head for the first time it didn't go the way he had planned, at all. Read the full description.
Playing
Bald
From
John Tynan

John_smiling_small Male pattern baldness. It strikes a lot of guys, and they deal with it in all different ways. There's the comb over, the permanent hat, and the guys who shave their heads. They make it look so good, so easy. When John Tynan went to shave his head for the first time it didn't go the way he had planned, at all.

Piece Description

Male pattern baldness. It strikes a lot of guys, and they deal with it in all different ways. There's the comb over, the permanent hat, and the guys who shave their heads. They make it look so good, so easy. When John Tynan went to shave his head for the first time it didn't go the way he had planned, at all.

2 Comments Atom Feed

User image

Nice Writing... and helpful!

Thanks for being an attentiove listener, James, and for the useful comments. I like your writing too! Your response was a lot of fun to read. I think anyone airing the piece might find the reference to the song from South Pacific useful to use as music when entering/exiting the piece. Thanks!

User image

The Rape of the Locks

First there was Yul Brynner. Then there was Michael Jordan. Now there’s John Tynan.

I go along with the notion that bald is beautiful because, I, too, went into the bathroom one Sunday afternoon — like John Tynan — and shaved my head. It’s been a few years, and neither my wife nor I have any regrets about my follicular decision.

But enough about me! Tynan’s lilting, half-lugubrious, half-joyous description of the day he decided to trim his locks is a kind of tone poem. Sure, he had trouble cutting and shaving the back of his head viewed through a mirror. Sure, he had fantasies of ramming a cap over his botched tonsure job and sneaking over to a barbershop to have his hair-mowing finished so he didn’t look like a half-hairy ape. Sure, he suffered the anxiety of anybody about to make a clean cut with the past and begin anew with vigor and a shiny pate.But he seems to have loved the process, and the smile on his face in the photo accompanying his PRX piece attests to this.

Two teensy problems — and maybe I missed something vis-à-vis the first: Tynan makes much ado about using a safety razor and a pair of scissors. The sound track, however, is abuzz with an electric razor. This tiny ingrown hair, as it were, doesn’t prevent the sound track from being as playful and inventive as anything you’d want to hear, given the subject.

My second quibble has to do with the piece’s being a couple of minutes too long. After four minutes Tynan’s shtick begins to sound as though it, like Tynan’s hair mop, could be cut.

Despite the “South Pacific” song, “I’m Gonna Wash That Man Right Outta My Hair,” there’s nothing quite like “Bald”! It’d be perfect to air during National Shearling Month!

Broadcast History

Aired as part of B-Side Radio's episode The Extraordinary Lives of Ordinary People and Clues

Intro and Outro

INTRO:

Male pattern baldness. It strikes a lot of guys, and they deal with it in all different ways. There's the comb over, the permanent hat, and the guys who shave their heads. They make it look so good, so easy. When John Tynan went to shave his head for the first time it didn't go the way he had planned, at all.

OUTRO:

Related Website

http://johntynan.com