Image by: http://www.babble.com/CS/blogs/strollerderby/2009/03/CornSyrup.jpg
Afternoon drink turned nightmare for both my personal health and the environment. The problems of high fructose corn syrup which is in nearly EVERYTHING that I eat discussed in a commentary form. Read the full description.
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Piece Description
Afternoon drink turned nightmare for both my personal health and the environment. The problems of high fructose corn syrup which is in nearly EVERYTHING that I eat discussed in a commentary form.
2 Comments
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Soda HabitHaha! Did Claire make you do this a penance for drinking so much soda, Libby? Great outrage/sarcasm/annoyance. Easy to listen to and informative essay. |
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Aviva Hirsch
Posted on June 13, 2011 at 07:04 PM | Permalink
Great narritive
What a great introduction. I love the sound of the soda can popping open
and your casual and honest narrative. However, as the story progresses,
I think the enthusiasm and expertise from the beginning is lost. I would
have loved to hear more sound effects later on in the story. The “whatever”
is perfect in the beginning and gives the listener a window into your
personality, however, I think once is enough. In essence, be careful about
repeating words.
This is a great topic because teens- you specifically- have an intimate
connection with high fructose corn syrup. This aids in connecting you to
your listener. You have a clear and interesting voice so keep up the good
work!