Transcript for the Piece Audio version of The Disadvantages of Growing Old

You have heard many sparkling wits say that growing old beats the alternative. Please notice, if you will, that these perceptive philosophers are very young and that when they acquire the aches and pains that complement three score and ten, if they don’t change their tune, they will very likely be singing it in a minor key. Yes, you knew I was going to give you an example. The east wall rotted out of my three-walled tractor shed and the building collapsed. With the help of my wife Marsha, The Almost Perfect Woman, I was able to restore it to better-than-new, replete with Typar, in three days. But there is a price to pay for climbing up and down a ladder, dragging 12-foot boards out of storage and nailing them in place. Yes, at the end of the third day I dropped into bed and you can’t believe the numbing pain that I experienced between my shoulder blades. I was lying on my glasses.