Transcript for the Piece Audio version of The Dark Lord Defended. AKA: Maybe Satan isn't such a bad guy, afterall.

Someone among us has gotten a severely bad rap. Even worse, he's systematically gotten the short end of the stick for centuries.
Satan has been the victim of a cruel and unnecessary defamation campaign since the beginning of time. He is just a poor victim of Heaven's PR machine. And the record should be straight once and for all.
Who is this ?Satan?? Christians believe that he is a fallen angel from Heaven ? the most beautiful and powerful of the angels in God's realm. After a failed attempt at usurping the throne from God, Satan was cast out to be the Lord of the Underworld. Not long thereafter Satan tempted Adam and Eve with the Apple in Eden, which caused the fall of man. In the New Testament Satan tried to persuade Jesus to live as a man and not a god. Finally, many believe that Satan will come back and create a ?New World Order? during the Apocalypse.
This all sounds quite terrible on the surface, but that is what God wants you to think. It is suggested that God created Satan as a pawn for some larger, possibly evil scheme. Think about this: Christianity is a monotheistic religion, but Satan has the power to tempt people over to the ?dark? side. If God were truly the one benevolent and omnipotent force of the world, there would be no Satan. If Satan is as powerful as God (albeit in ?evil? ways), Christianity could hardly be considered a monotheistic religion. God fears us joining up with Satan and ultimately overthrowing the spiritual monopoly he has held for all time.
Look back at what has been called the work of the Devil. The Beatles, Bikinis, and the Boogie-Woogie have all been the ?sent by Satan? to undermine our society. In retrospect, they weren't so bad, and we even respect them now. Maybe after the Apocalypse we'll see Satan as ?not so bad? as well, because when the Bible is read with modern eyes, we can see that Satan isn't so much evil as he is a different option for humanity.
In the Garden of Eden, we start to see where God uses Satan as a diversion to cover up one of His power trips. God tells Adam and Eve they can eat anything in Eden except the fruit from the Tree of Knowledge. Soon after, Satan appears in the form of a snake and convinces Eve to eat the fruit. But what Satan really did was let her know that she had a choice in the matter. He didn't force her to eat the fruit, but rather he encouraged her to think for herself. And then, of course, God goes overboard in punishing everyone in Eden. He curses the snake, promises to make life hard for Adam, says Eve will have pain giving birth, etc.
In the New Testament, when Satan was tempting Jesus in the desert, he was just offering Jesus a choice for his future. God, the father of Jesus, sent his own son to be killed, and Satan offered him the less grizzly alternative of not being tortured and crucified.
Choice and freedom are the central beliefs that guide us as a society. Without Satan we wouldn't have choices. Good versus evil is the most basic choice we face everyday. If there were only God, that would essentially be spiritual Communism. We shouldn't have to conform to God?s ways. Because if history has proven anything, conformity is a frightening thing indeed.
Maybe it would help if Satan weren't tied to all the worst trends. For some inexplicable reason Satan has become associated with terrible heavy-metal music; silly-looking fashions that involve capes, safety pins, and dark colors; and weird people who purport to drink blood. If he were equated with Celine Dion singles, cupcakes, and pastel polo shirts, we would probably be humming a different tune about the Dark Lord.
But God's public relations is ingrained in our society. Look closer and you'll see that God himself isn't the most pleasant Supreme Being. How many evil dictatorships are created in the name of Satan? Very few, if any. But God has a veritable corral of people and groups doing terrible works in his name.
Take a look at God's track record. He's flooded the earth. Destroyed entire cities instead of accepting them for what they were. God even asked Abraham to sacrifice his son Isaac, only telling him at the last minute that it was ?just a test.? That's really messed up! No sane person would align themselves with someone who has a terrible killing streak: all the first born children of a nation, an innocent woman who turned back to look at the city she was leaving, and his only son... God is a little bit of a lunatic.
They say that when Satan comes to earth, all of God's true believers will disappear in the rapture, leaving all the heathens to deal with this supposed ?Evil One.? But here's the thing ? the Antichrist will take the form of a peacemaker.
And with all the war, death, and evil given to us by our ?all-loving? God, a real peacemaker sounds like an improvement. Maybe we've been misled, because given the choice between a peacemaking Antichrist and a war-mongering God, Satan is looking better all the time.