Transcript for the Piece Audio version of Public Radio Fun'raisers - set #1

PUBLIC RADIO FUN'RAISER SCRIPTS
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1
"The Pencil"

Kathy: Cathy

Cathy: Yes, Kathy?

KAthy: Can I use the pencil now?

Cathy: Oh, am sorry I forgot you get it on the half hour....

Announcer: What you are hearing isn't real, but it could be. I could be the staff of your public radio station, if you don't call in with your pledge.

Cathy: Kathy, did you sharpen the pencil?

KAthy: Why yes, you could hardly see what I was writing.

Cathy: You know we can only afford to sharpen every Thursday afternoon.

Announcer: Don't let this be your station. Call in and pledge RIGHT NOW!

2
"Forgot to Pay"

WIFE: Honey turn on the radio, I wanna know what's going on

HUSBAND: We can't

WIFE: Why can't we, did you forget to pay the electric bill

HUSBAND: (ASHAMED) Well, no, not exactly

WIFE: Well what then?

HUSBAND: I have wanted to tell you this for weeks

WIFE: Yes?

HUSBAND: I forgot...

WIFE: Yes?

HUSBAND: to pay...

WIFE: You killing me with the suspense..

HUSBAND: ... the... pledge to the public radio station

WIFE: SCREEEMING!

Announcer: Don't let this happen to you and your community, call now and pledge to you station... to keep your station alive!

3
"Smart Local Voice" (Hip Hop Dude)

Hip Hop Dude: Yo yo you! Now that was what you needed to be hearing right now on local...

STATIC

Announcer: Is this the sound of local radio? or do you listen to a higher quality, commercial free and stimulating? If you appreciate your local public radio station then pledge now, for it could all sound like this...

Hip Hop Dude: Yaaaa Boy, That Dope! and don't forget the wet t-shirt contest at the local watering hole down on route...

STATIC

Announcer: Call now with your pledge, before it all sounds like this.

4
"News without the Pulp"

Gladis: Sherlie, I'm so annoyed with the local news and the national news is soo, sooo...

Sherlie: melodramatic, exploitive and Over Blown?

Gladis: Exactly, I get heart palpitations just turning on the programs.

Sherlie: Well you know there is an alternative...

Gladis: Really, who, what, where?

Sherlie: Public Radio. It's Community supported radio. They have national news and local news that keep it to the facts and doesn't search for the sensational story.

Gladis: Really, how do they do it without the Sensation?

Sherlie: They do it with public money, people like me pledge every year so they can give us the news without the pulp.

Gladis: Wow, I'd really like that.

Anouncer: Yes, you the public radio listener already know you get great news and local programs from your station, call now and pledge to keep it going.

5
"Join the Club" (Crying Guy)

crying guy: You know the drill, you listen to public radio every day, but have you joined the club?
You already know the benefits of public radio, that it's stimulating and broadening. And you know how much your local station relies on you and your neighbors to keep it on the air. Remember, it?s your station. We don't expect you to come by every day and fill the coffee maker with fresh filters, we don?t need you to sit in on boring board meetings or even take out the recycle. We need your money to keep it going, become a new member and pledge now.

6
"Feed the Meter"

Guy: Parking should be free, darn it my nickel rolled under my car...

Announcer: Imagine you had to drop in a nickel every hour you listened to public radio, annoying, yes? Well you should be supporting your station if you rely on the informative and intelligent broadcasting. If you pledge to your public radio station you will be dropping a nickel into the slot without needing all that loose change. Nobody is going to give you a ticket for listening without paying but please don't carry on enjoying with helping. Call now and pledge your support.

7
"The System Can Work"

Guy: Why should I support my local station, they get Federal money to keep the shows on.

Gal: That's not true... Didn't you hear that they cut more Federal funding to our local station? Public radio is becoming more public. The times are changing back to the old days, communities have to support themselves.

Guy: You mean you really do get what you pay for? If I don't donate it could disappear?

Gal: Exactly, National news can be expensive but thru local contributions the system can work. Quality and intelligence can be bought with our membership.

Guy: I'm gonna donate today.

8- Bugs and Daffy in "Pledge Dodger"

Elmer: Be very very quiet , I'm hunting pledge doggers.

Daffy: I know I'm a pledge dogger. But I get public radio fro free soo what the hey, yooo hoo.

Bugs: Neeeea, What's Up Doc?

Elmer: Excuse me MR. Radbbit but have you see any public radio pledge dodgers around here?

Bugs: Sure Doc, there's one standing right behind you.

Daffy: That sir is an unmidigated farbication I have so paid my pledge to public radio.

Bugs: Oh no you haave't

Daffy: Oh yes I have

Bugs: Oh, noooo you haven't

Daffy: Oh YES I have

Bugs: Oh, YES you have.

Daffy: Oh no I have't,

Bugs: Oh, YES you have.

Daffy: Oh no I have't, and to prove it here is my personal check.

Elmer: Why thank-you Mr. Duck public radio will forever bee in your debt, LAUGH

Daffy: OHHHHHH!

Announcer: Don't be a pledge dodger like Daffy. It's easy to say yes but we need your money today.

9- "Little Secret" (1-13)

Well let me fill you in on a little secret. Without your support public radio can not exist.

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