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Rock On, Reality!

From: Merle Kessler
Length: 02:06

New reality series induce fear and loathing.

Default-piece-image-1 Two new reality shows will seek replacement of dead rock stars from the population at large. Ian ponders this from his bunker.

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Piece Description

Two new reality shows will seek replacement of dead rock stars from the population at large. Ian ponders this from his bunker.

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Review of Rock On, Reality!

I am the creator of this piece. Many have complained, since I started posting my pieces here, that I talk too fast. I have been brooding about this.
There is an irony here, if irony is the right word, in that when I first started doing these pieces, the fast pace was the appeal! People LOVED it that I could talk so fast. But that was twenty-something years ago, I guess.
However, the fast pace is an integral part of the Ian Shoales persona. If I slowed it down, it would lose whatever it has that makes my little bits punchy in the first place. They may not be much, but they're mine.
So I will continue to be fast-paced. Believe me, the jokes would not be as funny if slowed-down. I'd sound like every other NPR guy or gal out there. And I am not heartfelt. I have no valuable life lessons. I am not wise. Of course, I'm not a pooch either. I'm sort of like an idiot savant, without the idiot part. That's the persona, folks!
So please, listen faster. Thank you.

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Review of Rock On, Reality!

I really liked the laughs I got from this piece. Unfortunately, I had to listen about 5 times to pick up on all the commentary becasue it was a little too speedy. Despite the jokster tone and the cynicism, I couldn't help but find myself thinking "God, isn't that the truth!" To a certain degree, I think that's what cynicism is supposed to do to people. Good work.


I hate to keep harping on this, but the so-called reality shows show no sign of stopping. The two latest ones to come down the tube include one for Fox in which the surviving members of TLC screen contestants competing to replace member Lisa Lopes, who died in a car crash in 2002. CBS will launch “Rock Star,” in which the survivors of INXS pick a front man to replace Michael Hutchence, who died in 1997.

Fox had considered other groups for their program, including Queen, who lost the great Freddie Mercury in 1991.

Well, you know, why stop here? We could take back the day the music died, if the Crickets found a new Buddy Holly. The Beatles are two moptops short of an ensemble.
We could probably create a new crop of Monkees whole cloth, and a grateful pre-teen America would scream in gratitude. Madonna’s changed her name to Esther. How about a search for a new Madonna? Cher co...
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