Piece Comment

Review of A Youth Perspective on the School-to-Prison Pipeline


The producer had the right idea there in the beginning, try to paint me a picture of a big gray cell... it's not a prison, it's a school. I can hear the natural sound of students bustling, and a picture is starting to form in my mind. But then everything veers left at about :45 seconds, hitting me with a technical definition, then all the verbiage of an op-ed. The only two voices are the producer's and an activist's. By the time the story gets to Josh, the activist, I'm a bit confused, so I pause to Google school to prison pipeline. Turns out, it's a big deal. The ACLU, education researchers, and progressive activists have been working against its influence for awhile now. So why haven't I heard any of this yet? And why am I pausing to go look it up, instead of waiting for the producer to fill me in? How do you get me to care and realize that this is a huge thing that I should be ticked off about? Tell me a story.

Instead of getting technical, bring me to a specific school. Describe that school -- what's the graduation rate? Is it losing funding? Why? How much? What's the demographic? How has the school changed? What are it's problems? Or zoom in on a student. One that exemplifies the issues you're trying to address. Maybe he or she is a truant. Maybe he or she has got problems at home, or lives in a rough neighborhood, or has a sibling or friend that has traveled that pipeline. Talk to a teacher, someone who has researched this, or maybe a legislator who has worked for more public school funding and less prison funding -- someone with experience and authority. I need you to illustrate how real this problem is as soon as possible, or I'm lost to Google searches instead of hearing your voice.

It's obvious that the producer is passionate, has an opinion on this issue, and the facts to back that opinion up. The narration is great, the writing is solid, and the barest skeletons of natural sound really take me there. This piece needs a story, and an additional voice of authority (or even some attributions) to back up the facts. This is a great start to coverage of a crisis that more people need to know about, and has tons of potential to rile listeners up.